Battle Balls Solves U.S. Healthcare Crisis

So, I was a clumsy kid.

Unfortunately, when the stat geeks ‘built’ statistics and probabilities, they had me in mind. As a kid, I’ve bought seven round-trip tickets to the hospital for stitches. I “bought” those trips through “buying the farm,” in massive bicycle wipeouts, horseplay and having an older brother who used me as a test-pilot guinea pig. The number seven is lucky for some, but not for this guy.

According to the Mayo Clinic, over 10 million people a year suffer from slip and fall injuries. So over 3% of the US population of over 321 million people fall a year. A good number of those who fall, end up in the emergency room, or local doctor’s office. Right now, the US is also facing a healthcare crisis. In the United States alone, it is estimated that we spend over $10,345 per person, annually on healthcare. So that’s over 30 Battle Balls (and baby Battle Balls) a piece for every living, walking American. Or 9,630,000,000 Battle Balls total. That’s a lot of coverage and backup coverage to prevent slips, trips and falls.

Battle Balls Group
Battle Balls as Protective Orbs

Or maybe better, yet we can modify the design of our Battle Balls to be completely self-contained. Ala Jake Gyllenhaal in the movie Bubble Boy.


No more common colds, sniffles, drizzles or sleepless nights. No more “calling in sick to work.” Boom!, slips trips and falls eliminated, money saved. Common colds and absenteeism eliminated, money saved. US workforce productivity increased.

The future US economy grows at a rate of 7% over the next 10-years, employment goes up, and there is a surplus in revenue to offset our deficit. Primary Care doctors and nursing staff can finally take much needed vacations.


Can someone, please give me President Trump’s direct line to make this happen? How does this Tweeter thing work, I think I can “AT him” (@) and maybe will get a late 3 a.m. response?

The younger me, would have appreciated a little Battle Ball protection, and our healthcare system will appreciate some much needed help to keep the clumsy kids like me (and grown clumsy adults) out of the healthcare backlog.

Respectfully, Randy Carlson, Battle Balls

P.S. As an aside: my money is on Floyd “money” Mayweather in the showdown between he and Connor McGregor on August 26th. Please don’t Tweeter @ McGregor on this though, I really don’t need an 8th set of stitches. But I would respectfully challenge either one of them to a Battle Ball match!!